


This Means Roar

by Adelune



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, Failwolf Friday, Love/Hate, M/M, POV Stiles, Zoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-03
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:49:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/910191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adelune/pseuds/Adelune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the gang is employed at a zoo. Danny is in charge with a charming smile and a not-so-visible iron fist. Lydia is a know-it-all famed zoologist. Deaton and Scott are Vets, Isaac is an animal nutritionist. Peter is in charge of Marketing. Allison is the head of security. Derek and Stiles are zookeepers of rival animal houses with a rivalry of their own. Hopefully hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Means Roar

This Means Roar

Stiles Stilinski is the best zookeeper of Beacon Park Zoo, bar none. No seriously, there was no contest. He’d been working under the tutelage of his mentor, Bobby Finstock—a neurotic, paranoid, crazy genius when it came to the care of all things feline. And economics… and the man could sprout out sports analogies and dramatic movie monologues like no other. The point being that although Finstock was a wee bit short of loony, Stiles actually learned a lot from the man.  When his mentor decided to relocate to Brookfield Zoo just outside of Chicago to simultaneously further his dream of becoming a comedian, Stiles shrugged and wished him luck. He then happily took his position as head zookeeper for the Lion House which, no, did not just house lions but many other lovely species like leopards, jaguars, tigers (and bears, oh my!). He’d been running the place for three lovely years when it happened, the thing he would forever call the event. The catalyst that would begin the roar! War, get it? Heh.

That came in the form of the new zookeeper for the Wolf Woods which holds an endangered sub-species of Mexican grey wolves. The building was in midst of renovations ordered by the big boss, Danny Mahealani. It suddenly came to a halt when he hired a new keeper from New York who really wanted an input to really make the new exhibit a success. Once the building was done, the new keeper brought hoards of eager kids and equally eager salivating soccer moms to his exhibit. It didn’t help that the dude was hot. Like, almost HBO actors levels of hotness that were comfortable enough onscreen to show their bits and fake sexy times onscreen. Unabashedly. Stiles would never reach that level of unabashed-ness….ness?

And yeah, sure Stiles had his own following of nerdy, geeky girls and guys who always commented on his passion for his job and his superior knowledge, but, come on! He didn’t have t(w)eens, parents and toddlers making goo-goo eyes at him all day long. The dude’s name was Derek Hale. How pretentious is that name? Right, right? Who names their kid that? …well, Danny did inform him that he had a second cousin by the same first name when Stiles’ brain to mouth filter decidedly went on a Derek-mangst rant. But still, man. And on top of it all, Derek was as stoic, broody and monosyllabic as they come. The man barely said a few things short of a couple of grunts. How did he get such a following, aside from a superb combo of ass, abs and dark stubble? Don’t forget about the eyes, though. And that warm, dark skin. And…focus, Stiles, focus.

Point is that Stiles Stilinksi had started to lose a bit of his loyal fan base. Normally, this wouldn’t worry him so much until his house veterinarian and roommate/best friend, Scott, pointed out that the masses were making their way to the Wolf Woods. And so began the epic war between the two exhibits, across from each other and taunting each other like kids sticking their tongues out at each other at the playground when the watchful eye of their parents were not on them.

Hell, if the guy so much as made a decent impression, Stiles may even have been inclined to share all that glory. They could tag team against the rest of the lousy animal houses; who wants to see a crap load of penguins?  In fact, they could mutually teach the rest of the zoo their combined awesomeness and make even more mula for Danny and the AZA on more conservation projects. But no, the guy turned out to be a Grade A asshole when Stiles met him for the first time. Aside from his caveman-like grunting, he acted as if Stiles was a pariah and not a damn coworker. So yes, he had a reason for hating the dude.

Their first meeting was in the staff lunch room, Danny let them organize a pot luck for their newest coworker. That conversation (or lack thereof) went a little something like this:

“Hi, man. I’m Stiles Stilinski, the head keeper of the Lion House. Danny’s mentioned some of the awesome things you did on the wolf conservation project in New York, welcome to Beacon Park.” He said outstretching his hand for a handshake.

He wasn’t blind of course he noticed how unfairly hot the guy was. Like an urban mountain man. You know he probably used conditioning products on that beard but you also knew he could probably chop up wood for your fireplace without breaking a sweat. And unlike Stiles, he probably looked even hotter when sweating. Stiles couldn’t say the same about his own physique after a workout, he looked plain grimy. Even Lydia, the ethereally beautiful albeit scary zoologist said the animals would probably run away from him and his stinkage.

Anyway. The guy didn’t even think Stiles was worth a real answer to. Dude seriously grunted, half growled and walked away.

Scott who was not too far from Stiles and shrugged at his best friend. Granted, half the time they’d been there he’d been making moon eyes at Allison, the head of Security, who he had just had his third date with and decided that they were meant to be. Pft. Whatever. He walked over to his best friend to give him a consoling pat on the back.

“Don’t worry about him, dude. He actually growled and threatened Greenberg when he handed him his new employee ID and misspelled his name.”

“Well Greenberg’s an idiot. How do you misspell such a simple name?”

“Stiles, we both know you’re an amazing zookeeper. You don’t need the approval of some hot shot keeper from New York. He’s probably got a gigantic ego.”

“Well I mean look at the guy, he’s like a sculpture in clothes.” He mumbled.

“All superficial shit. You’ve got brains, a real personality and you’re funny as shit. Anyone listening to you giving talks about the Lion House and your animals knows you’re dedicated and passionate about what you do. And you’re my best friend, dude. That just proves you’re irreplaceable.”

“Aw. Thanks Scotty. I like it when you say sweet nothings to me.” He said putting his best friend and brother into a headlock.

“Don’t mess up my hair, Allison’s here.” Scott said and Stiles rolled his eyes and shooed him away towards his lady love.

After that subsequent meeting, Stiles didn’t see the point in really talking to the guy. Anyway, the man kept to himself. Talked to his staff and Danny because he was boss. Otherwise, he never approached anyone and no one really approached him except for Greenberg. God bless Greenberg’s inability to understand social cues like Hale’s eyebrows of doom. Then the event happened. That just sucked for Stiles because it unraveled everything Scott had said to make him feel better. Just because Derek Hale had the emotional range of a teaspoon (Bless Allison’s Harry Potter references. That sold him on her being perfect girlfriend material for Scott) didn’t mean that people actually reacted to that, did they? Stiles’ and his exhibit were now number two. How the hell did that happen in a span of two months after the renovation? Sure, okay so his animal house was brand spanking new but it shouldn’t have amassed a cult like amount of visitors.

So one day, three months later Stiles found himself giving his normal lecture on the animals in his domain. He was just wrapping up explaining how Sheila the snow leopard was pregnant and how he wanted to give her litter awesome names and was taking suggestions from the kids. Then he brought up Scott and announced Dr. McCall would be in charge of delivering in the incoming months. Scott explained how her health was and answered a few health related questions for the kids and parents alike. That’s when Stiles noticed Eyebrows of Doom staring straight at him. Hands in the pockets of his uniform and his trademark scowl in place. He turned away for a few seconds after he caught Stiles staring but looked up at him.  Stiles was mature enough to admit that he glared right back.

*

A week later he ran into him at Isaac’s office. Isaac Lahey was one of the zoo’s animal nutritionists and oversaw the diets of both the wolves and the large cats in Stiles’ care. Isaac felt he shouldn’t be bothered giving them updates at separate times, he was a busy man after all. Sure, Isaac was a little reserved and shy but had a wit that anyone would take a shine to. In fact, he was really close to Scott and Stiles was past the point in which he felt his best friend status may be usurped. In fact, he’d been recently spending quite a bit of time with Lydia, she was a spitfire or snarky commentary and knowledge. He was a little in love with her, too bad she was dating the head of the zoology department at her alma mater.

In fact, every lunch you would see Scott sitting with Allison and Isaac to the other side of Scott. Lydia and Stiles next to each other, laughing at another Greenburg related incident. He started noticing Derek coming in during lunch now instead of whatever broody and angsty location he must have eaten his lunch before. He was always accompanied by Peter Hale, the head of Marketing and Lydia informed him that they were related, Peter was Derek’s uncle and part of the reason he came back to California. Coming home or something like that. Peter had high levels of creepy status attached to him. He had tried making the moves on both Stiles and Lydia, respectfully. While Stiles threatened to scream “fire” and run into Danny’s office and file a colorful complaint, Lydia coolly told Uncle Bad Touch that she would slice through his jugular with her Jimmy Choos. And so the epic bromace of Lydia and Stiles began.

During this particular lunch, they were discussing the upcoming annual Halloween party. They made the Zoo quite festive for this time of year but after closing early for the day, they always had a party at the nearby hotel, per Peter’s string pulling.

“So whatcha gonna dress up as this year, Lyds?” Stiles asked putting his arm around her when Uncle Bad Touch walked in narrowing his eyes at them and giving them a creepy grin and wink to match. His hot but socially retarded nephew walking behind him and stating at their table.

“Well I’m not sure how I can top last year.” She said examining her nails.

“I think you should be Catwoman, think of it as an homage to your favorite zookeeper.” Stiles said winking at Scott who laughed.

“If I’m Catwoman, will you be my Batman?” She asked slyly.

“Me in spandex. I don’t think that’s the best idea, I’m all limbs and…stuff.”

“Only way I’ll dress up as Catwoman. Besides, I’m sure someone will appreciate the view of you in _tight_ spandex.” Scott and Isaac started choking on their food and Allison giggled behind Scott’s shoulder.

“Yeah, aside from Uncle Bad Touch, I don’t think anyone else would.”

“I dunno, man.” Isaac started, “I’ve noticed that—”

Allison kicked Isaac and shook her head while Scott glared. Huh, what was that about? Before he got to ask he noticed there was a shadow over his tray of food. He turned around and noticed Eyebrows of Doom was looming over him and Lydia. He took his arm off her shoulder and turned his body around to face him.

“What can we do for you, Zookeeper Hale?” He said in his best professional voice.

The guy had his patented scowl in place but looked like he bit into something bitter when Stiles had addressed him. “I was wondering if I could observe your next lecture with your visitors. Mr. Mahealani said that I could benefit from observing you. And I, uh, saw a little of your interaction with visitors last week.”

That was probably the most he’d heard out of him in the three months he’d been working at Beacon Park, so he kind of gaped like a fish. Stringing together sentences and not just grunts and acrobatic eyebrows apparently took some time to process. Lydia elbowed him and Isaac cleared his throat.

“Um. Yeah, sure. Danny’d mentioned he wanted me to observe your technique as well to appeal to some of the older crowds. I’m great with kids and adults but octogenarians find me annoying somehow.” He said shrugging.

Broody Brows just nodded. “I have one around four today, you?”

“Ah. Scott’s going to come up and give a quick update on Milo, the Bengal Tiger’s bill of health. They published an article on it in the Beacon Hills Gazette a few days ago and a few reporters will be there for an update…so what time, Scotty?” Stiles asked. He clearly knew the time but he couldn’t quite get it out. Six and seven sounded so similar to each other, especially when he was kind of mesmerized by Derek’s green eyes with flecks of hazel in them.

“It’s at six,” he supplied helpfully.

“Okay.” He said nodding and walking away back to his table with Peter and his sardonic smirk.

“Oh honey, close your mouth.” Lydia said, gently pushing up his mandible slowly.

“Did the real Derek Hale get stuck in an alternate universe, is now replaced with his alternate double making this one Faux-rek and is secretly the polar opposite of the real one? Oh my god, have we been invaded by the red universe?!” He asked his table.

“You’ve been watching too much Fringe. And unlike Fauxlivia, this one has the same hairstyle and sense of style.” Isaac answered easily.

“Isaac, I love your inner-geek. Maybe broody, angry eyebrows can cross universes unharmed.”

“Maybe you’ve had too many red vines.”

“Whatever, Astro.”

“I don’t know what’s gonna make you more nervous, Stiles. The reporters or Derek Hale?” Scott said finishing his lunch and leaning into Allison.

“Probably Derek Hale.” Stiles said, feeling his stomach churn at the thought.

Why couldn’t he have a normal mouth to brain filter? He didn’t need Hale mocking him on a regular day on top of a visit from reporters. He was distracting enough during their little exchange, add him, visitors and reporters. Even to him it looked like disaster in the making. Crap. Damn Danny and his meddlesome attempts to create a friendly work environment. They were better off as antagonists who didn’t speak to each other. Damn Danny and his damn dimples to hell.

**Author's Note:**

> So the inspiration for this came in form of a joke text I sent my nephew (literally, "This means roar!"), we're kind of lame but we're related. So that's how the title and the idea came about. I'm not sure how many chapters this will be but somewhere between three to five in total. I apologize for my lack of knowledge of how to run a Zoo, any liberties I've taken are in advancement of the plot. Any actual Zoo references are taken from Lincoln Park Zoo or Brookfield Zoo (in the Chicagoland area), respectively. Look out for the Harry Potter and Fringe references. :) I think Stiles would appreciate them.


End file.
